Check Out the Moon

by Jenny Yates

   You may have just met an amazing woman last night.  Or you might have been with her for thirty
years.  Either way, it can be very useful to check out the moon in both your charts.  The moon is the
single factor that makes or breaks most relationships.

The moon tells you what you need on a day-to-day level, what makes you feel vulnerable, what makes
you feel safe.  When your moon connects harmoniously to another woman’s moon, you feel an
emotional bond with her.  Your emotional patterns are in sync.  You can nurture and care for each

Some moons are more independent than they are nurturing, however.  If your moon is in a fire sign
(Aries, Leo or Sagittarius), your most basic emotional needs are for excitement, adventure, and
individual expression.  You need passion, not just once in a while, but every day.  A fiery moon is not all
that focused on security.  When your moon is in a fire sign, security is a byproduct of personal strength
and creativity.  When you are living life to the fullest, that’s when you feel most secure.  

The most nurturing and emotional moons are the watery ones (Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces).  If your
moon is in a water sign, you are always living in an atmosphere of feeling.  Fiery moons feel something
strongly, but then move on.  Watery moons stay attached, soaking up all the emotions for a long, long
time.  These are also the most self-protective moon-signs, and if you are a woman with a watery moon,
it costs you something to take an emotional risk.  If you fall for someone with a watery moon, you have
to move a little more slowly.

You can see the problem here when a woman with a fiery moon gets involved with a watery moon
woman.  The fiery moon often experiences the watery moon as excessively sensitive and touchy.  The
watery moon takes everything personally.  On the other hand, the watery moon may feel that the fiery
moon always has one foot out the door.  The fiery moon is so into being her own person that she
doesn’t necessarily pay attention to her lover’s feelings.

Women with earthy moons are more grounded than those with either fiery or watery moons.  (If your
moon is in Taurus, Virgo or Capricorn, it’s in an earth sign.) You earthy moons tend to take things pretty
much as they are, and to deal with whatever happens.  You like a daily life that is solid and consistent, a
pattern that works well over the long haul.  In relationships, you value loyalty and honesty.  Your
instincts are generally pretty clear and unequivocal.  

When earthy moons get involved with fiery moons, they find themselves wondering what all the drama
and fuss is about.  Why make everything so complicated?   The fiery moon, on the other hand, may
think that the earthy moon is boring and resistant to change.  

Then there are the women with airy moons – and this includes Gemini, Libra and Aquarius.  This is the
most cerebral approach to emotion.  For a woman with an airy moon, security comes through
communication with another person.  In order to feel safe, those of you who have an airy moon need to
know what’s going on.  You have to talk about everything.  If your girlfriend refuses to process, she may
lose you.

Airy moons often have the best relationship skills, because they are often able to be objective about
their own needs, as well as the needs of others.  However, to watery moons, they may seem cold and
detached, or superficial.  And they may see the watery moon as overly sentimental, stuck in painful
patterns, or perhaps too needy.

Airy moons can also have difficulties with earthy moons.  The woman with the airy moon will have a
million ideas, and this abundance of ideas is her source of security.  But the earthy moon is pragmatic,
and may be impatient with too many plans and too much talking.  And the airy moon can feel that the
earthy moon woman is lacking in imagination.

Of course, the best thing is to find a lover whose moon is in the same element as yours.  The second
best thing is a water-earth combination, or a fire-air combination.  But if you find yourself involved with a
woman whose moon is in an incompatible element, all hope is not lost.  You just need to accept that she
fulfills her emotional needs in different (but equally legitimate) ways.  

   The moon is not a constant.  Your moon will be different from your lover’s moon.  Know her, accept
her differences, and love her for who she is.  

To get a free copy of your birthchart, or that of
any other person:

You need to know the year, the date, the time
and the city of birth.

Go to and
enter the relevant birthdata.  When you click
"continue", you'll go to a drawing of the natal

The box at the left-hand side will tell you your
moon sign, using an abbreviation of the first
three letters of the sign. For example, if your
moon-sign is Libra, it will say "Lib", and if it's in
Scorpio, it will say "Sco"", etc.